Baby C's Unexpected Birth Story - Part 1 - The Pool

I did not expect a Sunday when I was 38 weeks to be the last full day of my pregnancy.

And I did not expect to be faced with the birth experience that I feared the most.

That Sunday morning, I left home to spend a day with a girlfriend in nearby Temecula, CA, getting pedicures at the spa, swimming in the salt water pool, and then planned on staying the night away with my husband so we could relax and connect, just the two of us, before our new baby arrived.

At 38 weeks, I had every expectation that I would be pregnant for another two weeks or so. My pregnancy with Little J had gone to 40 weeks and 2 days, I just expected more of the same. With a pregnancy that was normal and straightforward from the beginning, just 6 weeks earlier, my awesome OB, Dr. Capetanakis (Dr. Cap), had told me that my baby was head down at 32 weeks, and things were as straightforward as could be.

I knew I didn't want to give birth in the hospital again, which is the only place my doctor delivers, so after trying for months, unsuccessfully, to get my insurance to cover a home birth, I took my "straightforward as can be" pregnancy, and finally transferred my care to the nearby birth center, Tree of Life. I loved their birthing rooms, the midwives, and the experience I could see myself having if I gave birth there, all the midwives had hospital privileges, and they often worked closely with my OB, too.

But my 36 week midwife appointment revealed that my baby was in a breech (head up) position. This was not straightforward, and the midwives were not legally allowed to deliver a breech baby at the birth center. I immediately starting employing all of the tools I know to help a baby turn, and I thought it was working. I often felt things in my belly that led me to believe he was vertex (hiccups down super low, little kicks up high) but then it would seem like he flipped head up again.

Soon, I fully believed that he was turning up and down at will. So I kept hoping he would go head down when it was time to be born. I was mildly worried, but I continued with my care at the birth center, believing I could help baby get into the right position in time. I wanted to cover all of my bases to ensure a positive birth experience, so I opted to get co-care with Dr. Cap and Tree of Life, so that no matter what happened, I would be having my baby with someone I knew and trusted, rather than an on-call doctor after a potential emergency transfer to the hospital if things didn't go the way I hoped. 

Sans our 2-year-old boys that fateful Sunday, my friend and I were ready for some much-needed pampering and as we settled into our massage chairs, I started to unwind like I can never do at home. We painted our toes in happy colors, snacked on cheese and fruit and talked birth predictions poolside, and I decided to hop in the warm pool for one last attempt to get my unmistakably breech baby to turn.

I am blessed that Dr. Cap knows how to, and will, deliver breech babies! Not all OBs are trained in breech births, and many won't do them, preferring instead to perform c-sections because they they're taught that it's "safer." I had read that the level of risk for a breech vaginal birth and a breech cesarean section are actually the same (although the risks are different), but the older school of thought still prevails, making a c-section the go-to "fix" when a baby is breech.

If I was unsuccessful in turning my baby head-down, I knew I wanted to try for a vaginal birth even though he'd be coming out bum (or feet) first. I'd watched several videos of breech births, I saw how normal these births were, and I knew my body could handle it with ease.  Breech birth can be just another variation of normal, and after multiple lifesaving surgeries a decade ago, and braving the ensuing pain and uncertainty about recovery, the idea of MORE surgery was just not an option for me. I was willing to do pretty much anything to avoid being cut open AGAIN.

I swam laps of breaststroke and did countless underwater handstands in the pool, but I never felt the desired, dramatic roll or flip of position in my belly. I had yet another earnest and serious conversation with my baby about why he needed to be head down (for a cozy birth center birth, versus a clinical hospital birth) but... nothing. 

When I got out of the pool, water left my body and ran down my legs. "Huh, guess it was all those handstands," I thought. Then a few minutes later it happened again. I still didn't think much of it. I got dressed and went to get gas for the car and noticed my seat was wet when I got out to fill up my tank. "Wow, that's a lot of water. Must have filled up completely with all that time upside down." But throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, it kept happening, and I was in TOTAL denial about what it really was. 

Before dinner, I did at least check the color (clear) and odor (chlorine), but with absolutely no labor symptoms, my brain hung onto the "it's just pool water" fantasy. Because amniotic fluid doesn't smell like chlorine, right? So I put on my little black (maternity) dress, let my hair down, and went out for a fancy dinner with my hubby and we had an awesome date night. 

Back at our room, I was still leaking, and we googled a bunch of things, but I was adamant that I was fine and it was just pool water, and my loving husband kept his doubts to himself. That night, I woke up around 1am, and my sheets were SOAKED.  I knew this was strange but nothing felt "wrong" or anything like contractions, so I STILL clung to this idea that somehow it was still water from the pool! I did google how much water a vagina could hold, though, and how would I know if my water broke while swimming.

The internet was NOT helpful and so I went back to sleep.

When I went into labor with J, my contractions started as soon as I woke up that morning and my water didn't break until late afternoon. And then when it did, it was a small leak, followed by a dramatic "KERSPLOOSH" all over my living room floor. Then the pushing contractions started. It was a totally different experience and I just didn't know what to make of what was happening now.

38.5 weeks pregnant. The last photo of the bump before I had our baby!

I wasn't even to 40 weeks yet! I knew that "2nd babies often come early" and "breech babies often come early" but my brain just couldn't grasp it. When I woke up in the morning, and the towel I'd placed between my legs was also soaked, and when I sat down on the toilet to pee, MORE water leaked out of me before I'd even started peeing, I finally thought, "OK. Time to call the midwife."

* * * * * *

Let me rewind to the beginning of my pregnancy for a second. When I conceived this baby, I decided early on that I REALLY wanted to have a home birth this time. My experience of racing to the hospital to have J was no fun, and actually left me with some pelvic floor pain because I was trying to hold him in while my body was trying to push him out!

And my experience with one of my labor and delivery nurses actually contributed to that pelvic floor pain because her fairly aggressive and painful uterine massage after I delivered caused me to store that pain in my pelvic floor as well. That deserves its own blog post but I'll just say that emotional "stuff" causing physical pain is a real thing. And it left me feeling less than safe birthing in the hospital.

I knew I could birth this baby, and so aside from wanting my OB to be there, I had no desire to have another hospital birth. I just wanted to stay at home and have my baby. I wanted no interventions and to be pretty much left alone except for my husband and doula's support. So I applied to my health insurance company to have them cover my out-of-network home birth at the in-network level. Due to family health stuff, we spent a lot of money and hit our deductible over the summer, and "just paying for" a homebirth midwife out of pocket just wasn't an option. And despite looking high and low, I discovered there are NO midwives near me, in network with my insurance company, who attend home births. So I applied for what's called a "gap exception" since the lack of in-network midwives constituted a "network gap."

This is also worthy of its own post because the process was long and complicated and frustrating, but eye opening in terms of how to deal with health insurance companies.

In the end, though, my request was denied.

And that's how I ended up at Tree of Life, and it seemed to be working out that it was really the best outcome. I was excited to birth there. But when my baby was definitely breech at 36 weeks, my mind raced. I immediately thought of all the possible scenarios and I knew that more than anything, I DID NOT want to end up with an on-call OB I didn't know, if a transfer to the hospital became necessary.

So I requested co-care with Dr. Cap and Tree of Life. It's not an uncommon thing for them to do as they work together often, and it was simple to start seeing them both. More expensive, certainly, but after hitting our deductible, I didn't care. I needed the peace of mind that no matter what happened, I'd be under the care of people I knew and trusted.

But at my appointment just before Thanksgiving, Dr. Cap told me, "just don't go into labor this weekend."
It was his one weekend off that month, and if the baby came, and was still breech, I would end up with an on-call doctor.

"I won't," I said with a laugh, confident this baby was still weeks away.

HA.

When I woke up with the barest tightening in my tummy and a slight low back ache, my sheets and the towel I'd put between my legs soaking wet, I knew I had to call someone. I had no idea when Dr. Cap was returning, and Monday was not one of his usual clinic days, so I called the birth center to talk to one of my midwives. Susan answered the phone, asked me a few standard questions, and she agreed I should come in a get checked out. I  I had a 45 minute drive home, and we had to get our son to his preschool, so by the time we were about to head to the birth center, I had several text messages on my phone, telling me to go straight to Dr. Cap's office instead.

We arrived at around 9am and went immediately into an exam room. I was nervous, but excited.

"So, what's your plan?" he asked me.

"Ha! Plan? I have no plan. I was not expecting a baby this early!"

* * * * * *

CONTINUED . . . READ PART 2 HERE

* * * * * * 

10 years and 2 Babies

Holy cow, guys. My Whole Healthy has now been a resource for you to live your Whole Healthy Life for 3 whole years! If you've followed me for a while, you may remember that I was also nearly killed by a drunk driver TEN years ago, TODAY! So there's a LOT to celebrate! 
New website design,
Website's 3rd birthday.
10 years since I stared death in the face and said, "NOT TODAY." And decided to live an epic, joyful, healthy life that allows me to serve you! 

My healing journey over the past 10 years has been long and hard and confusing. Especially early on. But as I moved through it, I felt increasingly driven to use my experience to help others.

So I built this website to help me share the things that helped me heal, and pass on evidence-based information (I do have a journalism degree and a penchant for facts) that you could use in a practical way. I also wanted to connect with you, and share my experiences and life in a way that would hopefully inspire you!

The past 3 years haven't been seamless, or made this blog see exponential growth! Not even close. But I'm still here, still writing, and now doing so much more. At first, my passion for health and wellness led to a very generic "wellness" website. I actually did NOT want to focus on my history of traumatic brain injury and all those broken bones. While those injuries will always been a huge part of my story, I no longer identified with being the "broken girl." I had recovered. I wanted to move on and lift people up. It didn't feel good to me to keep revisiting what happened unless I was speaking directly to someone who was going through it now.

Then, I got pregnant with my son in 2014. 
Soon after that, I became a certified personal trainer with the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM).
I was soaking up everything I could learn about fitness. But soon, that desire to learn "all the things" about fitness, was dialed in to focus on pre and postnatal wellness. 
It's what I was living and learning myself!
My birth classes showed me that many of the same techniques I had used to heal after my accident applied to my pregnancy and having a healthy, peaceful birth. Nutrition was EXTREMELY important, mindfulness, meditation, and visualization were everything, and movement helped make pregnancy and birth healthier, easier and more comfortable!

Talk about a light bulb moment. Pretty soon, I knew I had to narrow the focus of My Whole Healthy.

I am now a Pre & Post Natal Corrective Exercise Specialist with Fit For Birth, and I have pending certifications as a Fit For Birth Pre & Post Natal Diastasis and Core Consultant, and as a Certified Pre and Postnatal Coach with Girls Gone Strong. I can't stop learning.

My passion for helping and educating mamas has only grown as I raise my son, wait eagerly to welcome my second little boy in a couple of weeks!!! and serve my clients by helping them discover what their body is supposed to feel like, and see real results. 

Too often in this country and worldwide, I see women and mothers who need support as they try to conceive, during pregnancy, birth and into postpartum, but are completely failed by our medical system and our birth culture. It makes me sick, and it makes me angry. But when I see injustice like that, and that little flame of anger is lit, nothing can hold me back. 

I hope to grow My Whole Healthy more and more, and the beauty of the Internet is that it allows me to help support moms everywhere! So that's what I'm here to do.

Thank you for being here, whether you're a veteran reader, or you just stumbled on my little digital home today. 

WELCOME! 

If you're not sure what's new, this website got a big makeover over the last few months as I tinkered away and perfected the design myself (because I was quoted $8000 *cough cough* for a new website despite the examples I saw being designs I KNEW I could do on my own! So I decided to DIY it all the way).  I hope you like it!
I also created the most amazing resource for you that I'm giving away!!! - the Whole Healthy Mama Toolkit!

So scroll down the welcome page and check the navigation links at the top to see my new and revamped offerings, see how you can WORK WITH ME, check out my RESOURCES page, my MOM MUST-HAVES, all the affordable equipment I love to use when I WORK OUT AT HOME, my custom (organic)  MY WHOLE HEALTHY swag, and more!

I have so much amazing stuff planned for you, you're going to want to stick around. Make sure you like My Whole Healthy on Facebook, and follow me on Instagram! This is where I share tons of valuable info, and peeks into my life behind the scenes. My social platforms are a great place to connect and get to know me better, and to be sure that you never miss a big announcement! Once you've hit that "Like" or "Follow" button, make sure you say hi so that we can get to know each other. I can't wait to see you there!

Here's to YOU. I already think you're awesome.
xoxo Maggie

The My Whole Healthy Household is EXPECTING!

Yup, you read that right.

I.

Am.

Pregnant!

My husband, I, and Little J are so excited to be welcoming a new baby into our family this coming winter!

To celebrate, I have an EPIC giveaway for Pact Organic for you!!! So make sure you keep reading to learn how to enter to win the softest, cutest, most ethically made organic cotton clothing for the whole family!

Get PACT Organic for yourself by clicking here.

I am so excited to share this pregnancy journey with you. Right now, I'm feeling great. I had NO morning sickness at all during my 1st trimester (it was the same with J, thank you for those genes, mum!) but I was EXHAUSTED. Far more than with J - probably because I had all of my mom, breastfeeding (we have started a gentle weaning process as J approaches his second birthday), and business stuff going on, PLUS growing a small human!!

So, I let myself rest. I took naps when J napped. I did not go to the gym AT ALL for a month (but still walked and played with J lots so I kept moving) but am now getting back in there with new goals.

So far weight gain has been right on track - I'm right within the recommended 1-6 pounds for my 1st trimester. Definitely noticing an extra pound here and there when I've indulged in a lot of sugar! And then watching it fall off again when I get my diet back on track. Just a fantastic reminder right away that nutrition (or the lack of) has a powerful and immediate effect on the body, and it pays to pay attention.

I'm still using all of my favorite supplements. My fish oil and probiotics every single day.

My Seeking Health prenatal with methylfolate and methylcobalamin, necessary because of my MTHFR, and other bioavailable forms of all the necessary vitamins.

And I take this 10-strain probiotic that's also very effective now and then, to boost my gut and immune system, and the microbiome of my TWO babies!, with a wider variety of beneficial bugs.

These are my non-negotiables but I'm so thankful for my plant protein powder that helps me boost my protein intake, and curbs my sweet tooth, because pregnancy cravings are ridiculous.  And my greens and mineral powders that help give me energy (coffee is out), and make me feel less frazzled and more "together," and also taste incredible. 

In celebration of our happy news, I am giving away a $250 gift card to Pact Organic!!! 
TO ENTER:

GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
1. FOLLOW me @mywholehealthy AND Pact @pactorganic on Instagram
2. LIKE Maggie Yount: My Whole Healthy AND Pact Organic on Facebook
3. SHARE this blog post on either platform and TAG ME to make sure I see it! Remember to make the post public - if you share as friends only or have your Insagram set to private, I CAN'T see it even if you tag me.

Follow all three steps, and you are officially entered! All entries will be verified.

Giveaway closes Sunday, June 4, 2017 at 11:59 pm Eastern time!

GOOD LUCK!

Leave your questions in the comments! And enjoy some recent pics. All photos by my wonderful husband.

I'm wearing all PACT in these photos! Please excuse the fresh-off-the-clothesline wrinkles ;) PACT sponsored this giveaway but all opinions are my own, and I'm not getting paid for this. I just live in their clothes.

Plus, I wanted to celebrate with you!

Fully relaxed baby belly. No core engagement.

My "normal" resting baby belly. Slight core engagement.

High lunge - one of my current go-tos to stretch my psoas and hip flexors.

Little J is very excited to be a big brother!

The Birth That Healed Me

I needed to write a new version of my birth story because I realized there are some key pieces that I left out the first time! At the time, I didn't even realize they were important. If you want to read version 1.0, you can read it here. But here's my birth story, version 2.0.

How it all Began

The day Baby J decided to arrive,  I woke up around 7:30am, already experiencing contractions. It was the day he had "told" me he was going to be born (more on that soon), but there was no indication of labor when I went to bed the night before.

I had noticed some beads of colostrum dried out on my nipples but I didn't think much of it. I knew I'd have my baby soon because we were 40 weeks +1 day, so I inspected my pregnant boobs, gave my nipples a squeeze or two just because (this could help my body produce oxytocin - the love hormone - and possibly help to kickstart labor), and went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, nothing felt different. Not really. I was still very pregnant. But now we were on the day that Baby J had informed us he was going to be born.

Several weeks before, when I was having a bath, I started talking to my belly, and I started asking him when he thought he was going to be born. He'd been quite active in my belly, moving and kicking, but as soon as I started seriously asking about this, he got quiet. Then I started listing off dates. I said the due date, no reaction. I said another date I thought would be cool, again nothing. I kept listing dates and the baby stayed quiet. And then I said THE date. "What about ***** **?" (for the sake of his private personal info, I'm not sharing his birth date online)
And he kicked me HARD.
I sat up and took notice and said, "seriously?! ***** **?" And he kicked me again as if to say, "YES, weren't you listening?"
It seemed to be such a clear communication that I even told my OB and he wrote it in my chart! I told my doctor that it really mattered to me that he was the one there to deliver my baby, so he made a note to be there based on my baby's "declaration"!

So finally, that day was here. Soon after waking, my husband got up and contacted his work to tell them he was staying home. I wasn't in labor (that I knew of) but he knew it was THE day, so he wanted to stay close. He crawled back into bed and told me he was staying home, and I relaxed into his strong arms. Several minutes later, he tried touching my breast (he knew the boob/oxytocin trick too) but I immediately had to tell him to stop.
Something was different.
I could feel a deep, intense aching in my low back similar to menstrual cramps, but not. And then it stopped. About 10 minutes later it happened again.

Feeling Into It

I had no idea this was the real deal so we decided to just wait and see. We got up, and my husband made me breakfast (bacon and eggs), and we decided to go to the plant nursery to get a new plant for our front step to welcome this baby when he got home from the hospital. I was still feeling this aching off and on, but it wasn't bad. I had to stop and breathe a few times while plant shopping but we soon found the perfect camelia to take home.

Once we got home I was convinced this was the real deal, so I texted my doula to let her know my suspicion, and my doula texted back with, "hmmm interesting!" 

I decided to have a small glass of my birth wine to help me relax before things intensified.

Then I went about my day. Sat on the swing out front with my husband, talked about how our life was about to change, enjoyed the last few hours just the two of us (even though we were SO excited to meet our baby). I listened to some of my birth affirmations. I danced. I listened to some of my favorite music. I tried to work with my baby and with every surge that flowed through me. Then my husband made me a rather large lunch.

I ate most of it, but soon regretted that and was hit with indigestion. I went to the restroom in our bedroom and felt strongly like I needed to poop. I knew this was a classic sign of labor progressing, but I was in denial. It's too early, I thought. That lunch upset my stomach, I thought. 
I was so uncomfortable, and the surges were intensifying.
Finally I was able to have a small bowel movement, but then I was drenched in sweat so I decided to try having a shower. It didn't really help. When I got out, I was still sweating, and I went downstairs to join my husband and try to breathe through every surge as they came.

I knelt on the living room floor with my head on the couch. I moaned. Things were ramping up in intensity, but I was in such a ZONE, I had no awareness of time passing and I wasn't worried at ALL. I knew laboring at home for as long was possible was best for the hospital birth I was planning to have, and my water hadn't broken yet. I thought I had tons of time and my husband was so connected to me, he wasn't really timing my contractions either. Finally my doula texted, "so, how are you doing?" and that triggered me to ask her to come over. I knew I could use her support at this point. I texted my birth photographer too.

Transition

They arrived and I was still quite happy, although working through some intense surges. My doula tried to rub my back and give me some hip squeezes, and I HATED it. "Don't touch me!" I said. Then another surge hit and I joked, "Ok, that's it, I don't want to do this. I'm leaving." It was kind of an inside joke because I had hit that moment of transition I suppose, and I was kind of aware of that, but again, I was in such a zone, I had no concept of what it meant. I felt fine about the situation. I just kept breathing.

I decided I needed to stand, and I leaned on my husband, swaying back and forth with a sheet draped over me, and suddenly I felt a small gush in my underwear. "Um, I think my water just broke."
My doula suggested I go into the bathroom to check (odor, color, amount) and while I was sitting on the toilet I had another big contraction. She then asked me to reach down and see if I could feel anything.

"GUYS..." I said, "I think I feel a head!!!!!" My fingers touched something round and soft between my legs...

The Drive

Immediate panic ensued outside the bathroom door. "Are you serious?!" cried my doula. She instructed my husband to call 911. Nobody was freaking out, but everyone got into serious mode. We all thought I was having this baby NOW. I stood up and walked out of the bathroom, naked from the waist down, and my water completely broke all over the living room hardwood floor in a massive movie-worthy gush.
KER-SPLOOSH.

I had been feeling the amniotic sac getting pushed out of me! Not the baby's head.

By now my husband had 911 on the phone asking him a million questions, so I got down on all fours so he could check me and tell the dispatcher what he saw. No head yet, so it was determined we could make it to the hospital. We gathered ourselves as quickly and as calmly as possible and I was hit with another big surge except this time it was different and MUCH more intense.

"Guys," I informed them, "I'm PUSHING and I CAN'T STOP!"

It was suggested I start walking to the car as soon as this contraction was over and I slowly made my way. I had two more pushing contractions between my front door and the car in the driveway, and then I was in the backseat on my hands and knees, head resting against a pillow smushed up against the locked car door. Someone had found me a long skirt to wear.

My doula and photographer both took their own cars and followed us closely as we made the 30 minute drive to the hospital. My husband contacted my OB to let him know we were coming (we hadn't even told him I was in labor!), and every bump in the road triggered a big push as we drove. I had never felt such intensity but it wasn't "painful".

I talked to my baby the whole way and through every push, saying, "not yet, not yet, not yet. We're not there yet. It's not safe yet. Slow down, Slooooooow down," with lots of loud groans whenever a pushing contraction took over.

I've since heard/read comments from women, asking how you "know when to push". There was no question for me because my body completely took over, so it seems like a funny question. But now I know sometimes women are encouraged to push based on how dilated they are, not what their body is actually doing, and I wish moms knew that we ARE MADE TO DO THIS. Women in comas can have babies! Your uterus WILL push that baby out if you just allow your body to do what it does best. Your body and your baby know how to do this.

I had no choice in the pushing, and I was doing everything I could to NOT help the pushing along, just to try and buy myself time! I knew we could safely have a baby on the side of the road (thank you birth classes!) but I just wanted to. get. there. so I could relax.

Finally we arrived at the hospital after hitting every red light along the way. My husband totally kept his cool so I had NO idea the drive was taking longer than normal (I couldn't see anything with my head pressed against the car door), but I was so grateful to hear we had arrived. I carefully climbed out of the backseat, my pillow got stuck unceremoniously on top of the car, and I took a few steps toward the hospital entrance. 
I had a big pushing contraction right there on the sidewalk.
Then I walked inside and standing right in front of some poor lady who was waiting in the lobby, my body pushed again, hard, doubling me over as my hands gripped my knees and I yelled.
Things felt  I N T E N S E.

We were quickly admitted to Labor and Delivery and I was offered a wheelchair which I vehemently declined. I was HAVING A BABY and I couldn't imagine sitting down. Plus, I was not a patient, I wasn't broken, I could still walk just fine, thank you.

I was guided to one of the nearest empty rooms and my doula stressed to the nurse that I had been bearing down for about an hour, but the nurse basically just shrugged and nonchalantly said, "ok, we'll check her." I walked into my delivery room, and my body pushed again.
I roared, loud and low, hands on my knees, groaning as the pushing contraction filled my body. I was fully in my feeling, primal brain. All rational thought was gone.

That push got the nurse's attention. "Ok! Let's get you on the bed!" she said, and I climbed up, coming to my hands and knees (which is how I wanted to birth), and she checked me... "Yup, there's hair!"

My husband got to check me next and he felt our baby's head, but I was pretty oblivious to what was happening at my bottom end because I was consumed with the intensity I was feeling in my body. I wasn't really in "pain" the way most people talk about it. Maybe my pain tolerance is different because I've experienced the pain of breaking half of my body into a bajillion pieces, but I fully believe the work I did while I was pregnant to get the care and education I needed, allowed me to relax into the birth process and let each surge just wash over me as I used my voice, loud and low, to move through each surge. Then I could breathe fully and deeply as I rested in the betweens.

The Arrival

My nurse then informed me, "OK, you can push now." I nodded, and waited for the next surge, treasuring the moment of rest. This was HARD WORK.

My OB wasn't at the hospital yet and the nurses were running around trying to get everything set up quickly. I couldn't see much because I was leaning heavily onto the head of the bed that was raised up, but I could hear commotion behind me. Then someone asked me, "do you want to get the hep-lock?" and since that had been my plan (if I'd labored in the hospital for a long time), my knee-jerk reaction was, "yeah." My brain wasn't working AT ALL and I was running on pure instinct and reaction... Thank god my doula was right there because she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "your baby's COMING. You don't need that now."

Her tiny reminder was all I needed to trigger my deeper desire to avoid all unnecessary intervention, so I whipped my head around and said, "Actually, NO! I'm having a baby, I don't need to be poked with needles right now!" The nurse immediately backed off but now the nurses' rush was on to get a monitor on my belly to find my baby's heartbeat and see how the baby was doing.

They were also cheering me on, yelling, "PUSH, PUSH PUSH!" when a contraction would hit. I couldn't deal. For the second time, I whipped my head around and yelled back, "SHUT UP!"
I needed to focus and the physical intensity I was experiencing was all I could handle. The cheering was too much for my poor overloaded brain.

They were struggling to find my baby's heartbeat, too, (remember, he was moving down the birth canal while all this activity was happening around me), but at that moment, my OB, Dr. Nikolas G. Capetanakis, DO, literally ran into my room, out of breath, but happy and ready to rock and roll.

"Hey guys! OK! Let's have a baby!" 

He sat down at the foot of my bed and assessed everything in seconds. The nurses were still struggling with finding the baby's heartbeat and when they found one, it was way too slow. They said as much, but my amazing doctor immediately cut them off saying, "guys, it's probably HER heartbeat." That totally de-escalated the situation and the nurses were quiet from then on.

I had pushed maybe twice before my doctor arrived, and now that he was here, I focused on helping to move my baby out into the world. I wanted to meet him! Another push took over and I tried to push along with it. Suddenly I could feel the "ring of fire" as my baby started crowning, (which is a term I hate because it implies pain), but it felt just like what it is. Tissues stretching to their max, with a tight, pins and needles kind of feeling. It didn't feel good, but I kept trying to help the pushes along, and my baby's head would come part way out, and then get sucked back in. This happened three times, and I just couldn't seem to push him out!

"Maggie?." Dr. Cap said.

"Yeah?" I turned my head to look at him sitting behind me.

"I love all the vocalization, but now I need to just hold your breath and PUSH."

"OK." I turned back and refocused. The next push consumed me, and I pushed HARD.

No luck.

I realized then that I was hesitating just a little bit because I was afraid of tearing and I was afraid of pain. My perineum felt like it couldn't possibly stretch any more. But I decided, "fuck it. If I tear, I tear, and I'm in the best hands possible to take care of it. Just PUSH Maggie."

My husband, receiving our baby with a little help from Dr. Cap!

The next push came and I vocalized my effort even though I'd been coached not to, but I had a new focus and my hesitation was gone. When I got to the point where I had reduced my effort in the past, I just kept pushing, and boom. His head came out.
It didn't hurt!

Then Dr. Cap helped free his shoulder, and guided my baby boy into my husband's waiting hands. Soon I flipped over onto my back, and my baby was placed on my chest, skin to skin, and I looked at his beautiful face for the first time. He had so much hair!

I did it. We did it. Baby and me, together. No drugs. No medical intervention of any kind. He squirmed, looking for my breast. I let him work for it a bit, wanting to let him do the breast crawl, but then a nurse gently placed him next to my nipple and he latched on immediately. I have never felt such relief, and bliss. 

When we were moved upstairs to recovery, I remembered my mum's story of having to fight to keep me with her when I was born, and her nurses constantly placing me back in the bassinet. So I asked my nurses, "Can I sleep with him on my chest?" and they said as long as I supported myself on both sides with pillows so I couldn't roll over, it was fine. Yes, I could keep him with me. And so we spent our first night, snuggled up together, with his papa taking turns holding him so I could get some sleep.

I discovered that after I gave birth, ALL of my remaining sequelae (lingering symptoms/effects) from my traumatic brain injury were GONE. Completely. No more fatigue or brain fog, no more confusion, none of the things that made me doubt my ability to be a good mom and fear for the safety of my child. I had a postpartum doula lined up to help me, but it turned out I didn’t need her in the same way I thought I would. Everything flowed MUCH more easily than I had anticipated! My whole experience of pregnancy and birth HEALED me. It also showed me that I was most definitely NOT broken, despite everything I had endured.

**I also know now that I was doing everything right when I was pushing and holding my breath to PUSH was NOT in my best interest. It actually contributed to my being unable to control when I passed gas for YEARS after giving birth. All had to do was commit and allow, NOT push while holding my breath. Be aware of your body, honor what it and your baby are telling you to do. Women in comas have birthed babies, You don’t need to force it.

It's HERE! Beautiful Brains, Bellies, and Babies

You've probably noticed a few changes around these parts lately. 

If you've been with me since the beginning of this blog and business, my passion for health, wellness, healing, and recovery is obvious. I've "been through it," overcoming that whole severe traumatic brain injury, coma, broken in at least 18 places thing. I know how it feels to be so physically weak you can't even walk at a normal pace, let alone climb stairs normally. I know what it's like to be in pain all the time, to not trust my thoughts or the words that come out of my mouth because I'm aware of how my brain confuses most things.... and I know what it takes to heal and overcome all of that.

When I launched My Whole Healthy in 2014, I was pregnant with my son. This blog, website, and business was borne out of my desire to help people heal, get healthy, and share my story in the hope that it might inspire someone who needed to hear it. At the same time, I also became a certified personal trainer, and dove headfirst into honing my skills to gain more knowledge and expertise in nutrition and wellness. 

Now, I am a pre and post-natal corrective exercise specialist, and I am SO excited to finally be launching my coaching services in an online format, as well as in person! I know good help is hard to find, ESPECIALLY when it comes to finding a personal trainer you click with, so it brings me so much joy to offer my coaching to the incredible souls I meet here in San Diego, and around the world. My Whole Healthy lives online, and I have connected with so many bright spirits in the online world. My husband being one, as well as many dear friends.

I know that very real connections can be made online, and I know that I can be of service there, too. With the quality of online video conferencing now, it's like we are sitting across the table from each other, and I am fully able to coach you on correct form and function by giving you easy-to-understand cues and tips.

CLICK HERE to visit my appointment scheduling page, and please feel free to share as much on social, and in person, as you like! I can't wait to help you reach your goals.

XOXO

Maggie

Liked this post? Sign up to receive even more from me in your email every month, including tons of free gifts that I'll send you right away!